A billion dollar industry in futility, writ small

What billion dollar industry survives based on selling products to futiley address (predominately) male inadequecies? Hair replacement? Male "enhancement?" Yes, well, those are true, but I'm actually talking about golfing aids. Do you have a hook, slice, or both at the same time? Not enough distance? Can't putt straight? There are countless gadgets and aids to address these problems, but most (if not all) are as effective at addressing the fundamental issues of talent and confidence as Dumbo's feather:



Well, we all know that my flying esteem takes a knee to the sensitive bits every time I land PapaGolf. Not every time, I suppose, but it can certainly seem that way. I have a grab bag of excuses, of course: it was too windy, it wasn't that windy but it wasn't a consistent wind, I had a heavy passenger, yada yada yada. Those are good salves, but the underlying rash is still there. Until now, that is.

I've decided that what I need to improve my landings is consistent footwear. Yes, I firmly believe that the cause of my problems is that I wear different shoes when I fly, depending solely (heh, get it? Shoe, sole...) on what I am currently shod with when the impulse hits, or in some cases, what I will want to be wearing at the destination. Not any more! After a prolonged search, I have found a pair of shoes that will be blessed as my official flying shoes. Now, you're no doubt asking yourself exactly what traits are desireble in a flying shoe. Materials? Padding? Flexibility? Fit? No, no, and NO. It's all in the aesthetics:



Compare the embroidered logo with this one:



I ask you: how can these shoes not improve my performance?